Fellow Daters

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Now with even lower standards!

LOCATION: Portland

Due to shortages in men in the Greater Portland Area, the following categories of unforgivable lowlifes have been promoted to "potential relationship material" for me:
-Daily pot smokers
-My intellectual inferiors
-Dirty, smelly coffee shop poets
-Possessive types
-Women haters
-Men old enough to be my Dad
-My Dad
-Anyone else in my family, including the remains of my dead grandfather
-People who can't spell and refuse to use spell check
-Negative, angry types
-Politicians/the criminally insane
-Smokers who pretend to be non-smokers
-Vain, self-centered artists
-Drama queens
-Guys who always get dumped and can't figure out why
-The dental-hygienically challenged
-Anyone with that shit-eating fetish
-People who ever liked the band "Book of Love"
-Pig Fuckers
-Pink shirt wearing corporate capitalist dick heads who drive fancy cars
-Free loaders
-Your dumb friend, age 37, who still plays video games after work
-Anyone with a toupee
-The insecure
-Humorless "business" types
-Mama's Boys
-Sex addicts
-Infantile fuckwits who blame everyone else for their problems
-Bad kissers
-The fiscally irresponsible
-Underachieving slacker dudes
-Anyone in any kind of tribute band

Hope to hear from you soon!

1 People said what they thought:

Beth said...

Are there any standards left?