Fellow Daters

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Another Slob Here

Oh, sure. I can call myself a "BBW" (big beautiful woman) like others who resort to euphemisms. But the truth is more simple. Precisely like these other women, I am a slob. A butter hog. A tub of lard. I eat way more calories that I expend, I have rolls of fat throughout my body, and I'll demand that you accept me just as I am.

Despite my amazing combination of righteousness and lack of appeal, and a certain sour smell "down there," I'll also make a point of saying I won't respond to you if you're only interested in sex. Like anyone really wants to screw a hippo like me!

But I'm also compassionate. Meaning: You're free to send me a photo and tell me all about your wonderful self, like I'm in any position to judge your worthiness. You'll do this because you're desperate enough to fuck a hog like me. Who's the real loser here?

Oink, where's my slop?

1 People said what they thought:

Beth said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.