Fellow Daters

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Honest to a Fault

The Barracuda

LOCATION: Michigan

I’m probably the biggest b*itch I know.

Luckily, the people who know and love me accept that. Some of them, God love them, don’t even consider it to be a flaw.I am often brutally honest, have no patience for stupid people, and sometimes lack the filter that runs from brain to mouth. Or perhaps it just shorts out from time to time.

I’ve been married twice, so I’m probably bitter. Happy couples who do the whole public display of affection thing make me want to vomit. My mom once told me, “You know, not everybody is meant to be happily married.”

I am pregnant: third child, third baby daddy. Last week, Jerry Springer called wanting to know if I was interested in coming on his show to find my son’s dad. I politely declined because my entire hillbilly family would want to come with me, and the show was only willing to pay for two rooms.

I have two cats. I love my cats. Okay, I love ONE of them. The other one I would eat if I had to. I heard that cat tastes like chicken. Ciatee, the cat I wouldn't eat, sleeps on my bed, right next to me. If I had a dog, he/she would sleep on the floor, unless it was a little purse dog. Which, I would carry around in a cute pink purse. A dog that small could sleep next to the cat.

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