Are you tired of all those friendships that never actually come close to reality? Well here is a series of promises that really speak true friendship.. 1: When you are sad: I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry ***tard who made you sad.. 2: When you are blue: i will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.. 3: When you smile: i will know you finally got laid.. 4: When you are scared: I will rag on you every chance I get.. 5: When you are worried: I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.. 6: When you are confused: I will use little words.. 7: When you are sick: Stay the hell away from me until you are well again..I dont want whatever you have.. 8: This is my oath: I pledge it to the end..Why?..you may ask,because you are my friend.. REMEMBER: A GOOD FRIEND WILL HELP YOU MOVE..A REALLY GOOD FRIEND WILL HELP YOU MOVE A BODY.. LET ME KNOW IF I EVER NEED TO BRING A SHOVEL..
PRAYER FOR THE STRESSED READ IT AND WEEP LOL
GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CANNOT ACCEPT,AND THE WISDOM TO HIDE THE BODIES OF THOSE PEOPLE I HADTO KILL TODAY BECAUSE THEY PISSED ME OFF.
AND ALSO, HELP ME TO BE CAREFUL OF THE TOES I STEP ON TODAY AS THEY MAY BE CONNECTED TO THE ASS THAT I MAY HAVE TO KISS TOMMOROW LOL
HELP ME TO ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK...12% ON MONDAYS23% ON TUESDAYS40% ON WEDNESDAYS20% ON THURSDAYS5% ON FRIDAYSAND HELP ME TO REMEMBER.....WHEN HAVING A REALLY BAD DAY,AND IT SEEMS THAT PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO PISS ME OFF,THAT IT TAKES 42 MUSCLES TO FROWN ANDONLY 4 TO EXTEND THE MIDDLE FINGER AND TELL THEM TO BITE ME!!