Even Zombies Need Love

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Ten Commandments of Posting and Online Picture

Now I know I find all those funny and sometimes disturbing pictures so I figured I'd give it some balance. I found this at www.evanmarckatz.com


The Ten Commandments of Posting Photos
1) Thou shalt not post a photo taken more than 2 years or 20 lbs ago.
2) Thou shalt not post a photo of you with your arm draped around your ex.
3) Thou shalt not post a photo taken in a three-minute photo booth
4) Thou shalt not post a photo with someone’s face blacked out or someone’s body cut out of the picture.
5) Thou shalt not post a photo where you are not smiling.
6) Thou shalt not post a photo where all of your friends are more attractive than you.
7) Thou shalt not post a group photo where a casual viewer can’t figure out which person you are.
8) Thou shalt not post a photo taken by a webcam.
9) Thou shalt not post a photo that shows too much skin.
10) Thou shalt not post a photo of Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt.

Picture Imperfect 28

It's refreshing to know your hobbies. However I would like to know that you really are a woman.

Hey let's not get all Andy Warhol here.

Sure I want a long term relationship too. However I'm not paying for the guy.

What was I thinking. I don't need to see a picture of you. All I really want is your bike anyway.

Doormat seeks muddy boots

Doormat seeks muddy boots

LOCATION: SF Bay area

Do you have a drinking problem? Do you believe your crappy childhood exempts you from having to be nice to other people? Is "enraged" the only emotion you are capable of feeling? Do you make twice as much as me, yet still need to borrow money a week after you get paid? If so, I am the lady for you! I'm a queer femme who enjoys being yelled at, ignored, and told what is best for me. I'm short, thin (maybe that will trigger your teenage eating disorder issues! Feel free to blame me!), and smart (unless you find that threatening! In which case I am not as smart as you!). I do have clinical depression, which I manage with medication and, ideally, a steady supply of judgment from you. I'm looking to continue along my current dating path with someone who is immature, unpleasant, and bad at listening.

Bonus points if you:
-fetishize my mixed-race background, use it to impress your liberal white friends, and know exactly what "my people" are doing wrong -make "ironic" racist jokes
-are a spoiled ass mama's boy
-have no friends of your own, preferring to use me for all of your emotional needs (if you must have your own friends, I would rather you use them to cheat on me and/or commiserate about what a terrible girlfriend I am)
-hate fat people (although I am not fat myself, I love it when people rip on my friends and expect me to agree because of my genetics)
-understand that being an asshole and apologizing for it later is exactly the same as not being an asshole in the first place
-use "non-normatively gendered" as a synonym for "teeming with internalized misogyny"

Hopefully we can build a lasting relationship and maybe move in together so that you can decorate the apartment with old beer cans filled with cigarette butts and containers of half-eaten takeout food covered in fruit flies. Don't worry, I'll clean up after you. I'd prefer if you are white and middle-class so you can lord it over me all the time. Physical age unimportant as long as you are emotionally 9 years old. Your pic gets mine!!!

Always Put Your Best Foot Forward

E-Harmony Reject - 43

LOCATION: Norfolk

I'm a cross between goth, hippie and rocker. I have no fashion sense what-so-ever.........not good in social situations (often awkward...it's an endearing quality of my persona) but I'm cool as he11 to hang out with and generally have a great time doing whatever. Laid back and casual is the best way to describe me...... I love art...painting, mosaics and just generally being creative. Live music is also a big interest for me. I'm more into the local bands at local dives..... "We are willing to reject the sure thing or accept excommunication to try to make it on our own rather than endure the status quo or submit to conditions that assume we are invisible -- in this, we have nothing to lose. We accept responsibility for the difficulties ahead and do not seek pity for having chosen against the grain. I am empowered by mutual support and my assets are self-worth, hope, and pride."The Five of Pentacles**I'm having problems gettting IM's......just so you know I'm not being rude or something.....

Picture Imperfect 27

Okay now with this one you're probably thinking I found these on some sex site,

but you would be wrong.

Forget about my likes and positive points. Check out my breasts.

Yes I would like to meet a pedophile over 30.

She was looking for a long term relationship. I guess longer than her clothes stayed on.

She wasn't really looking to date, but more someone to hang out with like her breasts are doing.

You don't need to see my face. Just the girls.

Now this is a classic picture. It says so much about the woman that I want to marry her right now.

A Request

My friend's sister is writing a dating horror story book. She's looking for some help. Here's the info:

Hi everyone.My friend and I are writinig a book. We are well into it and now needsome help. We're offereing £100 to the best story. You can enterunder an alias as long as I know who you are (in case you win)The book is a collection of DATING HORROR STORIES. We all have them,some of us, more then others!If you have one (or three or four..) then email your experience to:datinghorrorstories@hotmail.com

Can you please forward this email to as many people as possible tospread the word and ask them to reply with their story todatinghorrorstories@hotmail.comThe best story will win £100. All entries agree to have their storypublished (we only use first name so you can make one up if you want)Please send your story by OCT 1st, 2008Thanks for helping us with our vital research!

Speak to you soon.
Kit