i'm a crazy bitch

LOCATION: Philadelphia

i'm not your average girl. i don't look like every other girl on here.

i don't act like one. i can guarantee you i'm a hell of a lot more complex than the majority of them. i used to cut myself when i was younger. y'know, to get the pain i was feeling inside to show on the outside. some pathetic shit like that. i'm pretty much over that, but i still am not quite a happy-go-lucky person. i take antidepressants.

i'm extremely insecure and lonely. so i'd like to find a guy willing to take that kind of challenge on.

if i found someone who actually really was interested in learning about me, who showed an interest in my thoughts and feelings, i think i might fall over. of course i would do the same.

i just feel like i'll never find anyone who could put up with me. prove me wrong.

Hey Outer Space, got any extra single guys? Hook me up!

LOCATION: NYC

You have no idea how hard it is to find a great guy here... you'd think, what with several MILLION eligible singles in New York City, it'd be easier.

Actually, I think the numbers are working against us. Neanderthal man and woman (our evolutionary precursors, if you will) didn't have to deal with so many choices. I'm afraid all these options have addled our little brains a bit... but I digress.

So, here's the deal. I'm a female (the model with the parts that theoretically make it possible for me to incubate a new human.) There are two models of humans... it's very important here which one you are and which one you like. In terms of dating, that is.

Anyway, I prefer to mate with males. They are the model with a bit sticking out that enables them to, um, well... A guy. I want a guy.

Look it up, mkay? I've got many of the attributes that are supposed to help me find a great guy, but, well, the process is a bit complicated. It takes time. Considerable time... I believe they beamed you a nice little drawing of a man a few dozen years ago. You can use that as a guide.

Pretty much, I would like him to stick around for about 50 years. Regular vacations to interesting places, good conversations about all sorts of things, some general silliness, some romantic time, some space (sorry, no pun intended) and a willingness to basically be friends for life are all ideals. More than two months would be a nice start. I could pretty much take it from there.

So, outer space, you got any single guys you'd like to send my way?

Picture Imperfect

Hey you get the pick of the litter here.

Yes the I had to go to a hotel and shoot my picture in a mirror because I know no one.

Is someone using a Lindsay Lohan picture?

Oooo x-rayed.

I know a good chiropractor who can help you with that back.

Forget the face. Just show off the goods.

I'm looking for a daddy figure.

I have no idea who he is. He just hopped into the picture.

It's always good to have a wedding dress handy when you start dating.

Wanted: Replacement boyfriend.

Ever feel alone in a crowd ?

LOCATION: Dallas

I am talented, attactive, smart, professional female looking for the same in my soulmate. I have been married three times and the current one is not working out.

Why is not important at this stage.

Your having something better is important. I have hazel eyes, and dark brown hair and I have kept a nice figure considering I have two childern ages 2 and 6. My stats are 36-28-36, five-five and 130 lbs.

I am looking for a serious man who needs a real woman. Someone who is on the larger side, hopefully with blue eyes and who is protective and takes control of things. I want someone with character and drive that knows in his heart that once is never enough. For the right man I can move mountians.

BEAUTIFUL SINGLE MOM!!

( (this is not the picture from the profile, but it fit so well))

LOCATION: Houston

Im 20 years old and i have a 7 month old boy! hes my world and i love him to death! i was with a guy for 2 yrs and i got pregnant which was planned and we split up 2 weeks before i had my kid! which was shitty but oh well!

So no i didnt just get knocked up! ok!

Anyways i have a full time job!monday thru friday! 8 to 5!! I work for TDC! if you know what that is! We take care of all the prisons! Crazy job let me tell ya!

Anyways i am a party girl! and i love to have fun! well when my mom watches my kid for me! but i can hang with the boys! might be falling over and throwing up but for sure i can hang!

I love to play softball! i have all my life! i had all my plans for my future but when i met this guy i thought i would spend my life with him so i kinda put it on hold and now i have a baby but i am going to go to SHSU! to get my masters in business!

But it will have to wait for right now! i want my boy to grow up a little bit! i am a fun girl! and a beautiful one at that! im not being selfish! but i know that i am beautiful and i dont take that as a complement!

i know one day a guy will love me for me and not because of my beauty! im not the skinnest girl but i love myself and thats all that matters!

ok let me tell you what i like in a guy! well im a white girl as you can see! so i like white guys! sorry but i come from a good background and i just dont think that its right to mix races! but i did have the best black friends when i was growning up but no offense and im sorry!

but im 5'8 so my guy would have to be around 6 ft! i love guys that are tall! im kinda a mix from country to prep! i love my 7 acres of land i got at home but i also love to wear all the cute clothes!! and i like my guy to do the same! i love guys that wear the jeans with the holes in them! and the cute t-shirts that say things on them! i like guys that wear collars or a button down shirt for when we do special things!!

i love a guy that has some muscles! you dont have to be mucho man or anything! really i just want a guy who is descent and has a good furture ahead of him! thats what i need for my boy! i want someone who will stand by my side and be there when i need him! for him to love my boy and love me the same! for him to have a good head on his shoulders and know what makes me happy!

i want a guy that loves to go out and party or just stay home and watch a movie and eat dinner together! i love a guy that would rather spend time with me then go out with the boys! i love a guy that wont get jeolous when i wanta go out with my girls! because im trustworthy and im honest!

Hopefully you can see the guy that i want! i have never done this before!

i love my life and i have worked hard for everything that i have! and you would be crazy not to be apart of it! i have got fucked over to many times and i wont let it happen again!

if you like what you read or see just write me and send a pic and we can go from there! have a good day!! heather!!

WHERE ARE THE EXCU-THUGS?

LOCATION: NYC

LET ME FIND OUT!

So is there any CORPORATE THUGS out there? You know the type who hold it down in the conference room by day, by night thuged outed with his homeboys.

Yeah, I'm looking for a BOSS, educated, tall 6'1 & up, classy, sexy, smells good, wears suits and ties, you know the type that's making the BIG CORPORATE DEALS.

Yes I'm only looking for a brother. Nothing against any other races, but I love DARK CHOCOLATE!

So brothers if your nickname is BLACK, BLU, CHOCOLATE, MIDNIGHT etc.,cause you so dark,then HOLLA! Nothing against BOJZEE(corporate)brothers but they bore me after a while! Oh me yes, I'm a corporate SISTA, can be BOJZEE but HOOD.

Confident, Classy, Sexy, Sensual, Well-Travel, pretty smile. I'm 5'7 and I wear heels so, you see my intrest in a TALL brother.

So, if your the type to hold the broadroom down,and can get off work and take me to a JAY-Z or ICE CUBE concert.

Now with even lower standards!

LOCATION: Portland

Due to shortages in men in the Greater Portland Area, the following categories of unforgivable lowlifes have been promoted to "potential relationship material" for me:
-Liars
-Cheaters
-Daily pot smokers
-My intellectual inferiors
-Dirty, smelly coffee shop poets
-Barflies
-Possessive types
-Women haters
-Men old enough to be my Dad
-My Dad
-Anyone else in my family, including the remains of my dead grandfather
-Lawyers
-People who can't spell and refuse to use spell check
-Alcoholics
-Negative, angry types
-Politicians/the criminally insane
-Smokers who pretend to be non-smokers
-Vain, self-centered artists
-Drama queens
-Guys who always get dumped and can't figure out why
-The dental-hygienically challenged
-Players
-Polygamists
-Republicans
-Anyone with that shit-eating fetish
-People who ever liked the band "Book of Love"
-Pig Fuckers
-Pink shirt wearing corporate capitalist dick heads who drive fancy cars
-Free loaders
-Your dumb friend, age 37, who still plays video games after work
-Anyone with a toupee
-The insecure
-Misers
-Humorless "business" types
-Mama's Boys
-Egomaniacs
-Sex addicts
-Poseurs
-Infantile fuckwits who blame everyone else for their problems
-Narcissists
-Bad kissers
-The fiscally irresponsible
-Underachieving slacker dudes
-Anyone in any kind of tribute band

Hope to hear from you soon!