T-Rex Love Affair

I am a very career-focused, attractive, 5'9, 120lb woman who is seeking a man who is willing to fulfill my ultimate sexual fantasy. I am an executive with a very successful corporation that keeps me very busy and I sometimes have difficulty finding men who share similar interests to my own in the bedroom.

Nothing turns me on more then Jurassic Park themed role play. You must be the animatronic dinosaur, and I must be the helpless child (Tim or Lex) stuck in the park at your mercy. You will growl mechanically into my ear and stare threateningly. I will feign panic and search for the flash light in the back seat of the visitor jeep. You will sniff at the window slowly and then release a robotic roar into the night air. I scream for Alan Grant, but your over sized robot jaws come crashing down through the overhead window, pinning me to the floor. I cannot stress this enough however, you must play as a ROBOTIC dinosaur. This is very specific, my interest lie entirely in animatronic dinosaurs, not real ones.

I thought I should mention this as there have been unfortunate miscommunications in the past, leading to performances that have left me without an orgasm. Other situations could include you being the dilophasaurus and spitting in my face and then going for my jugular. Or you could be the ill and moaning triceratops, and I would be Ellie Sadler, digging through your stool to find the source of the ailment. More or less any scene from the film involving a mechanical dinosaur interacting with a human will do fine.

I don't like wasting my time, so make sure you do your homework and watch the film and make sure you can fully embrace the mindset of an animatronic dinosaur. I am an incredibly sexual person and I would make it a blockbuster night that you would never forget.

Be My John Roberts

You're cordial to me when we see each other around school or at the bars, but I'm looking for more than a "hello" and a smile these days. I need a little something to relieve some stress during exams. Be my Chief Justice and grant cert to this appeal (for hot, hot loving).

You: Mid twenties, sort of messy parted brownish hair, dressed like a grownup frat boy, slightly nerdy (but hey, it's law school, I'm a sucker for bad jokes and watching Jeopardy before/after/during sex. "I'll take consent for $800 Alex.").

Me: Same general age. If looks were grades, I'd probably be summering at a decent firm. Maybe not Wachtell, but certainly not DUI defense in Detroit either. I have a laptop, drink from a reusable water bottle, and sometimes wear Uggs to school when I'm studying.

If you feel the same way (and want to join me for some Rule 19 Joinder of Parties), go to Phyllis's desk and ask if she knows where to find a good hornbook. She'll give you all the information you need.

Need to get pregnant fast by clean educated man

Looking for a light skinned man to get me pregnant this coming weekend or early next week. You will need light brown blonde or red hair.

My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for months now and my doctor says I'm fine so it must be him -- it would kill him not to have kids.

Be drug and disease free.I

figure we can try a couple of times while I'm visiting this week and hopefully I will be pregnant for my flight back home.

Send a couple of pictures of yourself, especially nude pics--can't do this if I'm not attracted to you. And tell me a bit about yourself.

Services Wanted

((Not truly a dating request, but too funny to pass up. Also not the picture.))

I bought this IKEA table and i can’t assemble it. Come over and put it together for me and I’ll masturbate while you do it. With a dildo. And I will serve you unlimited iced tea. I’m 37 and not amazing looking but totally serviceable.

losers need not apply

LOCATION: Atlanta

(No this was not on a sex site)

i am a spunky and funny chick that is a little shy at first. i like to go out and have fun with my friends. i am a city girl but i also like to go skiing or hiking in the mountains. i am looking to meet cute, lean, guys or girls with good since of humor, non-flaky, and is not vain. i work a lot so I'm not looking for someone really needy.there for i'm not looking for a relationship at first. just cool people to hang out with. i do not date smokers or drug users! so here's some crap i like....guiness, bowling,concerts, roller skating, acting like a jackass, red wine, traveling, latex clothes, boots, nipple tape, geee thats random, drunk bingo at the ho, if you don't know what the 'ho' is you haven't lived in atl long enough, poking dead things with sticks, ramdom acts of wierdness, trivia...i know tons of useless crap, cartoons,comedy..i love to laugh, ****ing at the yuppie douche bag when they come into the cleremont, boobies... who doesn't love boobies!, saying stuff that will make you squerm, food..i'm thin but i heart eating, educational tv, movies, stuff and things but mainly stuff, girls and boys that like to be spanked hahaha... if i haven't listed it it's cause i got tired of typing hehe!

Seeking Hentai Fan

LOCATION: Vancouver BC

The guy (or maybe guys, who knows) I'm looking for watch(es) a LOT of hentai. You have a very high sex drive and watch hentai most days, if not every day. You often find yourself getting off watching hentai more than once in a day. Some days you get off several times. The only thing that you think would make your hentai watching experience better is if you had a pussy to fuck while you watched. Not a fake one, a girl who wants you to give it to her good while you watch your favourite hentai. To be clear you don't want to have sex with a girl INSTEAD of watching hentai, you just want her pussy instead of your hand WHILE you're watching. Well, I'm your girl. I'm a petite girl, slim with long red hair and brown eyes. The plan: We spend a day together, probably a full 8 hours or so. I spend the entire day either naked or wearing a short skirt and no panties as you prefer. You spend the day playing video games, watching anime (whatever it is you'd like to do) and watching hentai as often as you feel inclined. I'll be hanging out close by reading a book. Every time you get turned on you tell me you want sex and tell me whether you want it missionary or doggy style. I put down my book and get into the position you request in such a way that you can still see the hentai you were watching, lubing myself a little if necessary. You put your dick in me, watch the hentai (this is important, no sex without watching hentai), and thrust until you cum. NO foreplay is involved with the exception of a little groping if you wish. You don't need to worry about lasting long or making me cum because the idea is that this is as much like masturbation as possible except you use my pussy instead of your hand because pussies feel better. Experience and penis size are also not important. What IS important though is frequency - you need to be able to do this at least once an hour. This is a very important part of what I want, just a couple times is not enough. There is no maximum amount, you can fuck me as many times as you want within the agreed upon timeframe. To encourage you to do this as often as possible only vaginal penetration is allowed until you've done that at least 12 times at which point you can use my ass if you like. If you think you're the guy I'm describing please send me a message and tell me a little about yourself - hobbies, your favourite anime/games, why you like hentai, whether you've had sex before, what the most you can cum in a day is, things like that - and include a few screen shots of your favourite hentai so I know what you like. A picture of yourself would be nice but it's not mandatory. Also, if you like the sound of this but think you wouldn't be able to have sex that much then I'm open to you and a friend sharing the job.

We Can Be Friends or Just Have Sex

Hi! Thanks for viewing my profile =) Hmmm where do I start? lol I spent 2 precious years of my life with a man who I thought was the one and because of his controlling and jealousy issues, it didn't last. I am definitely not looking for a repeat. I'm not looking for a relationship right now, either. I feel like I need some time to do the things that I want to do and I'm just starting to enjoy myself for the first time in months! I'm looking for someone I can share a close friendship with and if things get a little heated, I'm definitely OK with that too! Who can go without, right? lol I just don't want the commitment right now, I like to have fun, I like to party (but I'm not a lush!) and I like to get out and meet new people, make new friends. I'm focused on my career right now and making something of my life.There's 2 places where I hang out the most online, they are in my interests, feel free to come see me at either of them. I don't know how much I'll be on here, I don't know anybody yet lol. But, I'd love to add you to my favorites if you become one of them =)

Girl seeking WoW player

LOCATION: Los Angeles

Do you like to PvP in the World of Warcraft? Do you want to have sex with a girl playing arena in the eighteen-hundreds bracket? Do you want to have sex with me WHILE I play arena? Continue reading..

I will be playing my druid.. she is in full Season 3 and some Season 4. I play with another female player on her warrior, but she is not going to physically join us.. she will be on vent or skype listening in, but mostly her purpose will be to keep the game going smoothly by letting me know what is happening so I don't have to pay much attention.

You must be ok with vaginal and anal penetration, as well as eating me out, and you must be able to finish on me twice within one hour.

But more importantly, you must be familiar with the game. You should be not only yelling things like, "Your pussy feels so good on my dick" but also pay some attention to my arena game(s). And be loud. Remember, I'll have my headset on to talk to my partner. "Root him!", "Cyclone so I can pull out and fuck your ass" and so on. You must be kinky, naughty, and very horny. I will be quizzing you, so if you are not sure about your stuff, please do not respond.

What you have to do/have in order for me to consider you:
- You must have at least one level 70 in equivalent gear, maybe we can chat about it.
- You cannot be overweight, but also not the muscle jock body type with a brain the size of a pea. Chubby is BEST!
- You must be able to spell.
- You must be at least 20 years old and no older than 29.
- At least 5'10".
- No blondies.
- Dark hair, dark eyes
- Prefer uncut, but you must be clean. Circumsized will be considered, but not preferred.

About me:
- I am 5'8"
- 150lbs
- Blue eyes and brown hair.
- I know a lot about video games.
- I want to fuck you while I play arena if you fulfill the above requirements.
- I am very tight.. I have not had sex in about 8 months.

Picture Imperfect 17

I know sex sells, but not for quality dates.

See I'm friendly and open.

My tongue just loves sliding over your head.

I'm dripping wet for you.

Keep Practicing By Yourself

@@@Practice Partner Desired@@@ - 39

LOCATION: Atlanta

A naturally dominate and very feminine, black lady, is seeking a strap on and other "twists", practice partner. Always naturally attracted to and interested in strap on and other play. I’m seeking a partner to perfect my skills. Not looking for the lifestyle players or players, period. Want a practice partner who has an interest or curiosity that I can help with on a regular basis. I have a few other interests, I'd like to explore. If you have an interest, I am open to discussion. Practice does or should make close to perfect. Help me practice and let me help you expand your horizons. You must be sane, safe, stable, straight, drug and disease free. I am a "Type A female", attracted to "Type A males." I am most attracted to the executive, business, professional type who is well groomed. You must be a hygiene nut like me. Looking for a regular partner to explore with. I am naturally Domme and feminine at the same time. Please do not send me email asking if I would consider being your sub. I am very feminine and more than just a bit naughty by nature...but there is nothing sub about me. I am very comfortable and clear on my preferences. Don't waste your time or mine if you are not serious and real. I have no interest in email tag. Send a note with something about you and your interests. A pic gets first priority for a response. I will repond, but I really do have a life outside of my private interests. If I don't immediately get back to you, I will. Thanks for the interest.

An Epic Mount

Warcraft players look inside

LOCATION: New York

Hello I need 5000 world of gold for my epic flying mount. In return you can mount me.

You have to have an account on the laughing skull server and I want the 5000 gold BEFORE we do anything, we can make the trade at your place since I can't host. EDIT: Because I am having a lot of dumb guys message me who clearly don't have the gold make SURE to send: a picture of yourself and a screenshot of your character with the 5000g, I will be checking armory profiles, thanks.

I play a level 70 night elf druid and would prefer someone who was into roleplaying (I have a costume!) but honestly anyone will do, as long as you have the gold. I would also be ok with a woman too, as long as you have the gold! Also not adverse to the idea of groups\anal. Please send a pic and be real and drug\disease free with 5000 gold on the laughing skull server.